I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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