So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
there is another microwave in the elevator.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
