but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
