ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
