You work out of a Hotel?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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