All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
