So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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