Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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