At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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