i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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