Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Come on in and take your pants off
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