you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
