How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The adults are the big ones right?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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