remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
