He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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