Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
