it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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