How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
