so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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