so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
