Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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