I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
