hell yes lets make some ravioli
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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