This is not my ceiling
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
