Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
