dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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