I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
