he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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