i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
