dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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