what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
