she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
