Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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