I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
