I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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