her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
