I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
