My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
handjob tips. give me some.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Randomize
