update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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