Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
