let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
