We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
