Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
