the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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