You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
