I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
id be glad to
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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