therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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