@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
