I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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