grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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