dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
