i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
