let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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