Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
