halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
